You know the meme…that guy tossing up his papers, exclaiming “fuck this shit, it’s Friday!” – that became me. Except it was everyday. And just “fuck this shit”.
The frustration of feeling chained to a desk, dealing with problems which ultimately had no meaning, and as an adult being constrained by rules, a schedule and a lifestyle that wasn’t mine, plus all the stress and pressure of my position, it was too much. I can’t say my mind wasn’t engaged but my body and spirit were being crushed. As soon as I acknowledged that I started thinking of options and planning my escape.
A sequence of signs and events all started pointing towards travel and suddenly all the things I thought were my curses became my blessings – being single, critical, and not career-oriented.
So why wouldn’t I choose to travel?
Giving up my condo was the hardest decision. I had worked hard, had 2 jobs and lived quite frugally to save up for it. However when I really thought about it, if I wanted to travel freely I would have to give up this thing which would otherwise loom in my mind as a responsibility. Case closed, condo sold. And actually, I made a reasonable profit to help fund my travels.
I am really excited and definitely lucky but I would encourage anyone to always keep your mind open to possibilities. I know not everybody feels the way I do and some people are actually doing great things with meaning and are satisfied with their paths, but for those who feel uncertain or feel the nagging feeling of something not sitting right, I’d say listen to that feeling. I’ve never had a problem trying something out and then abandoning it if I’ve given it a fair shot but it’s not working out. Some people might say I’m impatient, I lack grit or that I have a fear of commitment but I would counter that I refuse to be complacent, delusional, or false in my actions. There’s nothing wrong with trial and error; with so many possibilities out there it’s unlikely to get the winning ticket on the first draw.
We have just one life and if your best years aren’t spent in a way that makes you happy, then they are wasted and haven’t been cherished for what they are. I want to live free during my 30s and worry about finding security later in life when I need it. I don’t need it right now; I am young, intelligent, I work hard and learn fast; security is often a myth anyway. I’ll take my chances 😉