Late Post (written June 17th)

Spontaneous decision-making still running off the current of synchronicities.

Sometimes change flows in a way that feels like a natural beginning and ending to each experience but sometimes change requires a hard decision and some form of sacrifice. I’ve mostly been able to make relatively easy decisions in my travels because usually they have been decisions to extend my stay in a place that feels right but recently, I hit a bump in my experience and have been feeling the pull to bail out early, which if you’ve ever felt the itch that comes with disconnection you’ll understand.

I was planning on staying in Pedasí, Panama until around the end of July thinking I would likely catch a flight to Colombia after this reforestation project. Truth is, I got to Pedasí and found love for this little town – houses with so many flowering plants and fruit trees you can’t help but smile, a 45-min walk to the beach for beautiful moment alone to absorb it all in, and a cute little panaderia with amazing croissants and café – but I haven’t been clicking with the reforestation project. This due to no fault of the project but a lack of connection to where my own interests lie.

I could have mustered up the persistence and followed through with the commitment I felt I had made to the project but my conscious was telling me there would be greater integrity in following my own truth. It might just be a rationalization to feel less guilty but you can feel a difference in existence when you are doing something with a full heart versus when you have one that is wavering and it manifests in all sorts of ways. Hence sometimes it is better to let go.

So now what?

Colombia had been in the plans but another path has been pulling me. I reached out to a friend in Guatemala after the volcano erupted there to check in that all was well and this started the ball rolling. All the signs started pointing me there so I’ll be heading to Guatemala in a few days to help my friend with an herbal clinic for volcano survivors and then staying to volunteer at the Fungi Academy.

The rainy season has begun here and for me it’s feeling like a period of many changes, internal and external. I’ve been keeping up the meditation practice and change in perspective from the 10 days I spent in Vipassana meditation as well as the vegetarian diet. I’m still fighting old patterns of behaviour and habits of thought but a journey worth having is never a short one. I hope that in sharing I am contributing to the positive motivational forces for self-development, love and compassion that exists in the world which I regularly am fueled by.

Much love to all ❤️

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *